What role I played & how I course corrected.

Lately I’ve been feeling anger, jealousy, rage, sadness, betrayal… so many heavy emotions.
I’ve felt these big feelings towards others, my current reality & myself.
When I made time & created the space to sit with, unpack & reflect on these emotions, I was able to get clear on why they were showing up for me.
And… I found some pretty profound messages.
Here is one of the many piece that I am open to sharing:
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I was angry at a few people in my life/circle for not:

1. Providing what I thought was an appropriate level of recognition or gratitude for the work I’ve put in, ideas I’ve offered up or the time that I’ve spent helping.

2. Not supporting my dreams, visions, events, me..etc. And moving forward (with what I perceived to be), without me.

What I found underneath all of the blaming of others & victimization of myself was a deep desire to be
seen, supported, empowered & connected.

The more I sat with this the more clarity I received.
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I’ve played a massive part in putting myself last, not chasing my dreams & not obtaining my goals or desires, not stepping into my empowered aligned self… to put it simply, I allowed myself to put others first and then got angry when others played their role that I helped set up.

So what am I choosing to do about this now that I know what the root is?

I’m going to have clean up & clearing conversations. I’m going to set personal boundaries for myself & I’m going to refocus my energy, attention & time on what I want to create & experience in this world.
I will ask for forgiveness from those I’ve blamed & I will forgive myself for believing the stories in my head that simply weren’t true.

I will take accountability for my lack of boundaries, focus & clear communication & ensure that I do better next time so I can create a different result.
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Lastly, I will repeat my prayer below & allow it to deepen into my heart, soul & subconscious mind.
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I am Sorry - for blaming you when I was unclear with my communication & expectations.

Please Forgive Me - for all the ways I pushed you away, blamed you & did not share with you what my heart needed at that time.

Thank You - for being my friend & loving me in all my messiness.

I Love You.

Xx Steph